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Jealousy and Abusive Relationships - When Is Jealously a Sign of an Abusive Relationship?

jealousy in relationships by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.
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Jealously is a "hot-button" for many in abusive and in non-abusive relationships. It can be misinterpreted as a sign of caring for someone so much that the jealous partner reaches "tilt" should they sense the possibility of losing one's affections. However, never let this fool you. As it has nothing to do with your value or your partner's valuing of you. To the contrary.

If the jealously presents as a possessiveness of your time, attention, energy...then you are more likely looking at a jealously of a different bread. This type of possessive jealously is more about not having the capacity to share "center stage" with anything else when it comes to you being the audience.

In other words, a person evidencing this type of jealousy will have absolutely no tolerance for competing with anything or anyone over your attention, your time, your energy. And further, the jealous partner will, at all cost, attempt to eliminate the competition either directly or indirectly by assaulting your personal affections or ties to that which poses a threat.

The long and the short here is that this type of possessive jealously has more to do with the jealous person. This person is actually demonstrating his/her lack of confidence in themselves and in their ability to be valued by you.

If you see this possessive jealously in combination with the balance of the characteristics that make up the constellation of symptoms defining intimate partner violence, use it as a warning sign. You may indeed be in a very dangerous relationship.

For help in recognizing all 5 Red Flags of an abusive relationship, visit Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps individuals and families recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse

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Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.
Abuse and Recovery
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jealousy in relationships

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