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By Dr. Linda Miles

On a piece of paper, in a notebook or in your journal answer the following series of questions. Do this to learn about yourself and your relationship, but you can also suggest that your partner do the same. You can do this on a yearly basis, say January 1st every year.

Exercise Number 1

Do you recall the beginning of your relationship, when you first fell in love?

Describe your behavior.

Describe your partner's behavior.

Too often in a long-term relationship partners stop the very behaviors that connected them with one another in the first place, but transcendent reality.

Some common examples are: Do you remember looking deeply into one another's eyes?

Do you remember how easy concentrated attention was?

Do you remember those compliments and gifts, etc.?

What do you do that is the same?

What do you no longer do?

What has your partner stopped doing?

What behaviors would you like to restore to your relationship?

Exercise Number 2

What behaviors bother you most about your partner?

Are these issues similar to issues from your past?

If so, what part do you play in implanting the negative behaviors in your partner?

How could you change your behavior to encourage a more positive response?

Copyright 2005 Linda Miles Ph.D

Author, Dr. Linda Miles, is deeply committed to helping individuals and couples achieve rewarding relationships. She is an expert with a Doctorate in Counseling Psychology, and has worked in the mental health field for over thirty years. She has been interviewed extensively on radio, TV, and in newspapers and magazines. Find more relationship ideas and relaxation techniques on her web site and in the award-winning book she co-authored, The New Marriage: Transcending the Happily-Ever-After Myth, and numerous CD's, that Train Your Brain. Dr. Linda Miles

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Books by this Author

All Aboard the Brain Train
All Aboard the Brain Train
Teach Your Child to Travel a Purpose-Filled Path Think of your child’s brain as a series of train tracks with thousands of stations. The Brain can be trained to travel to magnificent destinations. "All Aboard the Brain Train" will help you train your child’s brain to lay tracks in the most positive directions.

Friendship on Fire: 52 Weeks to Passionate and Intimate Connections for Life
Friendship on Fire: 52 Weeks to Passionate and Intimate Connections for Life
Do you feel like the sparkle in your relationship is dying? If you want to start – or keep – the glow of love in your relationships, then begin building a solid Friendship on Fire.

The New Marriage: Transcending The Happily Ever After Myth
The New Marriage: Transcending The Happily Ever After Myth
Make your marriage succeed, even though seven out of ten couples who marry today will eventually divorce. Learn how to identify and overcome the emotional problems that arise from marital troubles, and gain the knowledge to achieve a long-lasting union. Strengthen yourself and your partner instead of helplessly watching your marriage dissolve.

Train Your Brain: 8 Keys to Successful Relationships (CD)
Train Your Brain: 8 Keys to Successful Relationships (CD)
This CD is taken from Dr. Miles’ successful radio appearances around the country. Through humor and real life examples from her practice as a Marriage and Family Therapist, Dr. Miles focuses on how to stop blaming and start living.

Train Your Brain: For a Peaceful Pregnancy (CD)
Train Your Brain: For a Peaceful Pregnancy (CD)
Stress for the mother equates to stress for the baby! Parent's reactions to stress, train the child's brain. Parent's relaxation can train them better.

Train Your Brain: For Successful Relationships
Train Your Brain: For Successful Relationships
Love is a Practice. You CAN change your brain patterns and chemistry. A respected Neuroscientist, Dr. Wayne Drevets explains, "In the brain, practice makes permanent." With regular use, this CD is designed to create more inner peace.. Using techniques that have been researched at major universities, Dr. Linda Miles, psychotherapist and author for thirty years, leads you through mental exercises for mind and body control that research has shown to effectively lower blood pressure, improve sleep, improve the immune system and reduce stress reactions.

Train Your Brain: To Be Heart Smart
Train Your Brain: To Be Heart Smart
Deep Relaxation Techniques. Specifically designed for people at risk for heart problems (high blood pressure, family history, elevated cholesterol, type A personality) or those with cardiovascular symptoms or problems or those recovering from heart surgery.