By Dr. Linda Miles
On a piece of paper, in a notebook or in your journal answer the following series of questions. Do this to learn about yourself and your relationship, but you can also suggest that your partner do the same. You can do this on a yearly basis, say January 1st every year.
Exercise Number 1
Do you recall the beginning of your relationship, when you first fell in love?
Describe your behavior.
Describe your partner's behavior.
Too often in a long-term relationship partners stop the very behaviors that connected them with one another in the first place, but transcendent reality.
Some common examples are: Do you remember looking deeply into one another's eyes?
Do you remember how easy concentrated attention was?
Do you remember those compliments and gifts, etc.?
What do you do that is the same?
What do you no longer do?
What has your partner stopped doing?
What behaviors would you like to restore to your relationship?
Exercise Number 2
What behaviors bother you most about your partner?
Are these issues similar to issues from your past?
If so, what part do you play in implanting the negative behaviors in your partner?
How could you change your behavior to encourage a more positive response?
Copyright 2005 Linda Miles Ph.D
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